OH MY GOD! I was studying the hilarious foibles of white people the other day, trying to figure out why white people are so f*%$%ng in love with being composed of atoms, when I saw the most obnoxious thing. Tell me this doesn’t sound like something white people SO would do. This one large white guy, a total Brian Eno, lay down and entered a dormant phase. At like, 11 at night. He just dropped down in his bed, and got quiet, and stopped being awake and alert. Nice going, Einstein.
bet he has every Spiral Beach EP
Apparently white people prefer their states of rest to be naturally occuring, rather than induced artificially by Jungle Mashups. I was recently at a concert of slow boring rock en roll music by teenagers with haircuts, and I followed some of the adolescent white pupae to their slut party afterwards, and discovered that after the knee scraping blowjob sessions, the girls fell into various phases of restorative slumber. LIke, this one girl, a total Brenda from 90210 type, dropped off first into Non-rapid Eye movement sleep. Totally predictable, no? But get this, after passing through increasing and decreasing phases of NREM sleep, N1-2-3-2, she did the most predictable white person blunder of all. Yes, you guessed it: REM sleep. White people really love having their eyes rapidly moving back and forth. This gives white people the chance to do one of their favourite past times: dreaming. When a white person has visions of a realistic nature during REM sleep, they usually dont’ even remember it when they wake up.
It’s not even like they keep a particular length of sleep throughout their lives either. They actually sleep way more as kids. What the eff guys, way to b 2 reel. I guess its true what they say, a white person’s sleep cycle is affected by their circadian rythms and the concentration of adenosine and melatonin in their brains and is mitigated by their natural chronotype. What’s most frustrating to observe is that sleep isnt’ even catabolic. More like catatonic, am i right ladeez? Sometimes I sympathize with white people though, and any observer has to respect that wound-healing is enhanced by this restful state. More power to you, white people, for evolving the ability to focus the body’s energies on closing wounds and fighting infection. No, seriously, i’m slowly clapping right now. Represent, in a way.
amazing
I am white and I love to sleep.